Feeling Tired

Date: 2020-09-11
Feeling Tired

It may sometimes seem impossible to move on, as if the burden of expectations coming from the outer world takes away your strength and makes you anxious. Practical solutions come as this distant glow and anything is possible, from depersonalization to depression, if you aren’t careful enough to take care of personal needs with the inner system of support that is built sky high. There seems to be no time and no room for experiments as the river of life conditions us with fate. Here, freewill becomes a metaphysical matter of “perhaps” when the whole point of Astrology is to remind us that we CAN create our lives feely, thankful for all the gifts we’ve been given. Our shadows and personal hells weigh us down, and knowledge helps us rise to the point of understanding who we are and what we can do to change our circumstances, on our own.

The King of Pressure

Saturn is often described as this grand “Lord of the Rings”, the set of circumstances out of our control, fate, karma, debt, fear and panic, and yes – pressure of the world. It is not only the lord of responsibility, time, and patience, but a lord of depression and impossibility, boundaries, and fences, and it is not an easy force to understand for it comes as a shadow itself, a stone around our necks, and something to generally – avoid. In your astrological quests, you will find just the same that Saturn CANNOT be avoided and nothing it brings our way can be overcome without acceptance of reality and ways of the world. We must accept our fate to be able to deal with its heavy and dark nature or better yet, our heavy and dark perspective. 

There is obviously a lot of controversy around this dark, distant, protective, patient, pressuring, difficult authority that goes “against” our authentic needs (when challenging the Sun), mythologically eating its children (when challenging Venus), limiting our resources (when challenging Mars), stopping our heart and blocking our airways (when challenging the Moon), etc. We may get angry with its injustice, but this anger is meant to be used to overcome its challenge rather than blaming the world, the society, our parents, or ourselves. Blame, judgment, and guilt aren’t healthy manifestations of Saturn, but its shadows in all their glory and we all carry some with us daily.

A Step Back

With massive retrograde movement currently in the sky, it seems natural to think about all the steps that we can take back so we can deal with the past and move on from it. When matters as deep as Saturn go, we are to see the issue on a plane of personal relationships, family contacts, and emotional basis, to understand the extremes of Cancer and Capricorn, and truly, deeply, feel able to set free from patterns that ate our energy away and made us feel tired. All challenges of Saturn require solitude, rest, and spiritual work. Meditation, stretching, and hiding within four walls always come as relief. Its main story is the story of spending energy and using resources, outside or within. It is the consequence of deeds made that haven’t been seen, and the main challenge we normally have is not being “allowed” to relax as lazy, spoiled, judged, and unworthy of time for rest. The general remedy for any of its dark and incredibly disturbing issues is as simple as – rest. And yes, it takes time and requires solitude. If you are to overcome the pattern, when you are rested enough to deal with a pressuring circumstance, rest some more to distance yourself from it entirely. 

Simple distances aren't always so simple, but they must be made. In lives of so many people you will see that solitude is a challenge, that fate makes them feel abandoned and victimized to do things alone. It feels as injustice, but it is really space given to us to get in touch with ourselves without intrusions of other people’s energies, opinions, and individual truths. Solitude is always a blessing just as pure emotional contact is, even when there are seriously dark demons that must be faced along the way. Rest is always a blessing, too. Even when it is part of our depressive processes. This inner judge as our own shadow tells us constantly that we aren’t worthy of time, that we don’t have time, that we must fear our circumstances, that deeds have consequences, that we cannot let ourselves out of our own cage. But we can all give ourselves ten minutes of meditation per day. We can all set aside our phone to go for a walk. We can all do something right for our heart to protect it, even when we are structured as the busiest working maniacs ever born. 

Big goals can only be achieved when we work towards them with absolute focus, taking small steps today. Lack of focus is really ours to handle through priorities clearly set. It is hard, but this is exactly where acceptance kicks in and shows us on a practical, daily plane, that we CAN move out of any challenge step by step, and towards liberation in Aquarius. Failing comes only when we lose our focus, spend our resources over our own limits, and spend our energy without necessary rest to come afterwards. If life is simplified and we all stopped overthinking, we might find that hard work and initiative (Mars) require hard rest (as Mars exalts in Capricorn), and that holding on to old emotions  really serves to hold on to people that remind us of stories unresolved (Mars falls in Cancer). We are conditioned by emotions to suffer through bruises that we may avoid if we only believed that we deserve not to be hurt. If only our belief wasn’t wounded for us to think that our reality MUST be painful (Jupiter in Capricorn). 
In order for emotions to flow and for our realities to be completely productive, we must feed positive beliefs and see our possibilities clearly. We must examine priorities and hold on to focus as stubbornly as necessary for goals that inspire us most. No matter the ideal of love, we must distance ourselves from each person to the point where love goes both ways, for nothing out of balance is ideal, and we must believe that there is always more than what hurts our heart and makes us sad. This is what we actually must do and what we are truly being pressured towards by fate.

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