How Compatible Are We
There are numerous things we use in Astrology to observe a relationship between two people, starting with synastry and comparison charts, midpoint and Davison, to predictive methods meant to shed a new light on the way we met and interacted in a certain moment in time. The strange thing is, however hard we try to understand the essence of a certain bond, we can never seem to take a full grasp of its issues, for things are flowing on underlining energies that we may only decipher to the point that our awareness can grasp.
Everyone You Meet
To understand how important our connections are, we must remind ourselves of all those contacts we had passing by, a smile from a stranger that changed the entire course of our day, or a traffic quarrel that triggered much deeper inner issues than we would ever see coming. The matrix of our relationships is much wider than we may think and consists of all those people we pass by, not only of close individuals that connect with us in intimate bonds. This is the reason to give priority to one’s natal chart and its aspects, for relationships between planets are the exact relationships we bump into every day, as we take different roles every time and shift from one side of our inner support or challenge, to another. Our ascendant and seventh house rulers will color it all and give the greatest impact to our world of relating, but no other aspect is small when we are working on our inner content and unconscious needs. When observed from a solely personal plane, the descendent and the seventh house speak of the way we present ourselves to the world, not only our partner, just as the tenth house is the flag of status we wish to carry, not only our boss or authority figure.
The vast space we take as we move through life may confuse us if we start focusing on other people, on synastry and relationship charts, for each relationship has a primal mission to point us to look within, where answers to soul-searching and self-reflection are found. If we split our energy into two, three, or numerous views, we may get carried away into thinking that we understand another by simply looking at their chart. Understanding of another can really only occur when we can feel their position with our heart and only in the scope of issues shared that push our own buttons.
The Paradox of Boundary
It is often said that the core to any healthy relationship is a healthy boundary towards the other person. This is what Saturn in Libra is trying to tell us, teaching us that true balance between two people flows flexibly with time, and our authentic structure is to remain intact if we are to not get hurt or hurt another. On the other hand, our goal (and all goals are also represented by Saturn) is to connect in purity of heart, with Divine love shared without fences and judgment. The paradox here comes from the Sun’s fall in Libra, our small ego and all the things we think we know about others when we really don’t. The most hurtful thing one can do is prejudge or analyze the behavior of another without close contact, for it returns the other person to a place where they aren’t seen for who they are. This is where actual healthy boundary lies, on the image of Self where we simply DO NOT know anything about others, their struggles and inner processes, or reasons for their behavior. Each bruise inflicted comes from inner pain unresolved, and it is our task to separate from one another to the point where we understand that we weren’t the ones who patented the pain in question and accept that we don’t really ever know anyone but ourselves. What we learn in the process brings stability only when we are still open for new information and learning, and this requires bravery of contact where we are ready to get hurt so our own deep wounds can be shown and resolved.
Synastry and Composite Charts
My suggestion is, before reading any comparison charts and seeing others through a light of rational astrological knowledge, to invest all your energy into your own aspects and seventh house ruler. Everything you need to know hides in there somewhere, and relationship charts are only meant to shed a light on personal things that can be resolved through a certain bond. The closer we get to someone and the deeper we connect, more likely we are to fall off a cliff of our own patterns and bruises, and this is only a natural path of evolution. Stable relationships are built when we are ready to start from within before quarreling or taking parts in conflicts in the attempt to tell others what to do and how to behave. Just as we’ve been told to be who we aren’t to fit in better, others have been too, and to avoid conflicts that come from different backgrounds, we must set free from our own inner voices and conditioning imposed on us by our surroundings.
The Beauty of Comparison
When using Astrology to understand any relationship, we are to see where we connect and where we separate. It can be quite clear what we are meant to give and what we can receive as we observe dignities and relationships of intertwining planets. Keeping in mind that each contact is an entity separate from both people involved, telling its own story, with focus on Self, we can see the triggers, myths and limitations to a bond that need to be worked on from a personal perspective so its greatest potential can be used. So instead of analyzing another, analyze the mutual flow and strengths of the person in front of you that you can learn about. This could shift the focus on actual needs you carry within and show you what you are to do in order to cleanse the emotional field that makes you nervous or bruises you in any way. Once we see how beautiful our challenges with another actually are, we can forgive, take the highroad, love purely, and recognize the pain that is shared so traumas can be healed on a deepest possible level for both people involved. It is our sole responsibility to heal ourselves through loving contacts and what others learn is theirs to choose and work on. We should never doubt the underlining grand process of our Soul's healing, no matter the number of bruises and traumas triggered.