God Complex
Sun and Saturn play these immensely important roles in our lives and their symbolism can be seen through egotism, the burden of responsibility, strict attitudes towards Self (and others), judgment, or healthy boundaries and awareness that we are all - only human. The primal opposition of Leo and Aquarius lies here and considering its importance in all our relationships and each individual’s personal world, it is no wonder that the sign of Aquarius stands for both our shackles (traditionally ruled by Saturn) as well as our liberation and growth of consciousness (rule of Uranus).
(Holy) Father
Both of these planets represent our father in a chart and the dominance of either depends on the time of birth. If the Sun is found above the line of our ascendant, it is the dominant authority, and birth during night (with Sun below the horizon) puts a strong emphasis on Saturn. On the other hand, both of these entities represent our connection with God and the Universe, Saturn standing for our ability to embrace circumstances as they come with our fair share of responsibility, and the Sun standing for the ability of Self to overcome challenges of the circumstantial.
What we are given by our relationship with our father seems to be much more than we often perceive, for he is our priority, authority, and the God we rise to look up to. The relationship itself challenges the Ego (in the masculine sign of Libra where the Sun falls) but builds our world of boundaries (exalts Saturn). In opposing terms, our father’s ability to stand firm on his own two feet and hold control of his life is seen in Aries (the Sun’s exaltation) or his inability to overcome the circumstantial and solve problems (the fall of Saturn). When we observe our natal chart in these terms, we might find the root of our faith, or lack of it, in these two zodiac signs and the position of the Sun and Saturn with all their challenges, dignities, support and memories.
Awareness
The main task of awareness and our search for enlightenment falls in the realm of their rule, for these symbolisms represent the line of our understanding of the Universe and the sight we managed to develop. We will give respect and clarity rising through the Sun, but fall to see shadows, darkness and restriction where Saturn doesn’t allow us to be in control. Luckily, there is no inner problem that cannot be overcome, and no outer circumstance that cannot be accepted, when we are stable in the position of personal power and centered in our light of understanding.
While people tend to judge those with serious ego problems, we often fail to see that the judgment itself represents our own relationship with the issue. The judgment is the point of contact, where emotions lack and we fall ourselves. It is our own inability to forgive Self for mistakes we make (or think we do). The problem of Ego is the one thing we all share until we are fully enlightened. With enough pain brought on us during childhood, we will all become ego maniacs and there is no childhood without pain in the collective rise of consciousness. Although the progress allowed more light into our classrooms and more people today have the right to vote, we still pay so much attention to the “upbringing” of children to be obedient and behave in certain ways to fit into the collective. Individuality seems to be wounded each time we tell our child to not run naked in public or drop a ceramic plate. On the other hand, it is our responsibility to teach our children how to become a part of the current collective and remain brave, how to dress up and be who they are, how to present their inner world but not feel rejected. Structure is needed for growth, as well as challenges to develop bravery, and individuality to break boundaries and make progress.
Only Human
This seems to be a complicated process that we can’t really grasp just yet. Still, we can remember that those with the biggest ego problems have been under a lot of pain, and that those who suffer from the complex of God also carry the responsibility of God as they make decisions in our name.
Some people will mystify things, believe in the magic of Self, detached from reality, thinking they have some unconscious control that causes painful circumstances and darkness. Typically, they will believe that to resist “the darkness” makes them spontaneous, as they cut themselves out of the picture that triggers their fears. They will run and hide from their own pain. Others will feel like missionaries who help these unrealistic people find their grounding as they rely on Self, with no one else to rely on. They live in the trap of being defined by pain. The second kind will try helping the first kind take responsibility for Self. The first kind will try to help the second kind develop flexibility and the acceptance of circumstance that they cannot control. Most often, none will see that they share the same problem in its core – loneliness and the absence of emotional contact with the paternal figure. Our problems bring us together into intimate contact, yearning to be resolved, and the mission calling on us to help another is the inner craving to help ourselves.
Perhaps it is time that we all see how big this entire symbolism is. We all share it to some point. While one of us will help and support, the other will fail to take responsibility. Then, we will take turns, change roles, and responsibility will be taken for all the wrong things, causing us to end up shifting blame (the lower manifestation of Saturn) instead of standing firm on the line of healthy boundaries in a loving relationship, actually supporting growth by giving each other naïve love over each limitation and problem. Isn’t this naïve emotion the essence of our authentic personality’s actual need?
Actual freedom comes when we let go of responsibility that isn’t our own and fears that bind us by consequences that might arise. We set free as we take responsibility over our personal happiness and giving in to the calling of our heart. We have our own Soul to heal, our own heart to listen to, and actual deeds and actions taken towards others to be responsible for. Contact between souls heals us all, which is why we are all summoned into lives of others in difficult times. It is our decision to accept the invitation and give love to another in any given moment. It is also our decision to have our own needs met in return and distance ourselves from relationships that don’t fulfill them. There is a point of personal truth where we are, in fact, the ones in control of our choices in life, for yes – there is a Universe, a Nature, a God, a system of humanity we belong to, much bigger than our human authorities ever could have been. And there is a point of forgiveness where we actually understand that our authorities have only ever been human, bound and allowed to make mistakes, just as we are.
