Feminine Matters

Date: 2020-03-11
Feminine Matters

The presence of Lilith in our world is becoming more and more visible over the years, and her topics seem to be everywhere. Astrology covers four, even five possible Lilith pointers in one’s chart and it seems to be this unavoidable principle of dark, raw, angry or sad feminine energies that have been oppressed and shoved aside for too long. In its clearest form (typically set in root by the position of asteroid Lilith in our chart), Lilith represents our freedom, not only sexual as often perceived, but freedom from emotional ties that are dark and deeply rooted in our unconscious world. She is our contact with death itself and our liberation from its ties, conditions and panicking over any ending at all. She is made to say “no” and move on from a burdening relationship, even when this means spending an eternity alone in the burning desert where no life subsists. So why was she so angry, and why is she demonized for doing so? These are all matters of the eighth house and the sign of Scorpio and won’t be easily answered although we might try. 

The Story of Opposites

The main story of Lilith depicts her as a self-sufficient, uncompromising woman, the first Adam’s partner and the one who was there before Eve. She wasn’t created from anyone’s rib but stood as equal by her man’s side, unprepared to tolerate any form of patriarchal dominance. Due to her disobedience, she ended up being an outcast, banished into the desert where anger boiled to make her a dark feminine shadow, until she partnered with a demon and gave birth to a whole new bunch of demons as consequence. Now while everyone was, for ages and millennia, afraid of this archetype, of multiplying and uncontrolled feminine anger, this story describes the destructive side to anger quite well and its effects on the entire world as it bubbles up unseen, hidden and cast aside. She speaks of one’s sensitivity (the feminine) excluded, banned, and exchanged for a “more appropriate” model – found in the archetype of Eve.

On the other hand, Eve carries her own story of biblical guilt, of never being anyone’s equal and never being good enough. She has tact, modesty and patience, but she is the one who wanted a glimpse of feminine satisfaction at any cost (may be interpreted as sexual desire), a taste of equality, burdened by never being the first, the one and the only. Eve had a taste of physical pleasure only to doom the never-responsible male and herself for a lifetime of suffering and pain. A version of the story states that Lilith is the one who angrily transformed into a snake to offer the apple from the tree in the garden of Eden. Keeping this in mind, is the feminine internal conflict over a man, the Sun with its the dominance, the root of all pain? In other words, and on a personal plane, is the battle for self-respect and confidence causing all our emotional troubles? 

Eve governs life but recognizes our inability to overcome death and the essence of the physical world. She chose to take the apple. She doesn’t say “no” to her physical needs, no matter the cost. Lilith governs Self but through anger and hate – recognizes the value of life and togetherness. She yearns and is hungry to say “yes” to another, for an apple has no joy to offer when we cannot share, even if we share poison itself. It is really the story of Taurus (feminine sign, Eve, along with the apple, exalting the Moon) and Scorpio (feminine sign, Lilith, along with her wings, exalting Uranus). One of them pays the price of guilt and suppression to be with a man and give life. The other is free but angry over a man, the system, and degrading Eve for her compromising nature that doesn’t allow justice of equality to ever kick in. In this context where they are compared to begin with, Lilith brings end, death and destruction and it is no wonder that she is feared and cast aside in the instinctive, natural order of humans, where life is to be preserved at any cost. 

Planets and Non-Planets

In a wide and unprecise astrological context, the Moon stands for the archetype of Eve, the Divine Mother there only to relate, reflecting light from the Sun and not being a planet at all. Still, it is the closest entity to Earth and its only satellite, with no similar pair to connect to just as the Sun is our only close star. The Moon allows life as we know it today as it controls tides and waters of the Earth. It brings understanding that the masculine and feminine differ greatly. Eve won’t push to be what she isn’t made out to be. In Moon’s proximity and inevitable role of a mirror comes its vulnerability. It is already trashed by humans, was at one point even threatened by nuclear armory, and stands as a stopping point for any of our cosmic toxic human ways. The Moon bears the first close-to-Earth sacrifice and falls in Scorpio where Lilith tempts and bruises out of anger, tied to the past. The Moon has no atmosphere and sees the Sun for what it is without forming any layers of protection towards him. Her “man” may be spotty, magnetically challenged, out of control and certainly overweight, but she has not built false images of him in her practical and already differing, subsided world. This way, she has her own true role, however small it might seem. 

Venus is the archetype of Lilith even though this planet is usually seen as solely beneficent (as we are still collectively dismissing its “darker shades”). It is the equal entity to all other planets, but also the hottest, with the greatest number of volcanoes, and clouds of sulfuric acid covering its surface from sunlight. It won’t give us the nighttime reflection as the Moon however hard it might try but it is a warmer pair to the Sun and standing closer to it. What it seems to not see is the essence of sunlight due to her thick atmosphere blurring the image. She doesn’t see her own true force, the difference between her core and that of her man, and the fact that just as the Moon isn’t a planet, neither is the Sun. Everything is in perfect order just as it is. She isn’t Sun’s “equal” in the sense that she wanted to be, even though she is equal in terms of ego and authentic personality by simply being herself. 

Lilith’s role isn’t to become the Sun or own it, to fix the Sun or poison the Moon in order to prove the imagery that is obviously blurred or toxic. Her role is to see herself as she is, to recognize the force she already has, no matter those visible and common collective human ways on Earth. There is, after all, a reason why Lilith is sometimes referred to as the “Dark Moon” or the dark side of the Moon, where the Sun remains unseen from our point of view. It is the invisible feminine strength, the darkness to pair with the light, but in order to embrace it and heal, Lilith must see the light just as much as she sees the darkness. On our planet, we only see the glimpse of Venus’ reflection, but its surface has some trouble giving respect to the ultimate force of life, the light in our system, and the Divine Father. This is something we all must forgive, as we know the myth where her father (Uranus) fell (in Taurus) so she’ll come to be, and it may have left her angrier, lonelier and guiltier than she understands.


Each woman and each man carry one of these extremes emphasized within, but we all live through both in some form of balance that we do or do not recognize. This balance, or lack of it, will primarily be seen through our relationship with women, as they stand for both archetypes more vividly. Depending on what is strongly accented and connected to personal planets and the Moon, if one’s Lilith (any of the five) is found in their seventh house, for example, they will find themselves in an Eve-like role. These individuals will, more often than not, be giving up on their sovereignty to have a family life, a partner or a child. Sometimes, they will face “sexual predators” through a mistress their husband found or feel victimized by aggressive women that seem to lack the ability to love enough to overcome their anger issues. If it is set in the first house or in touch with one’s ascendant ruler, they will feel like an outcast, with the need to hide their sexuality while the anger rises as they aren’t free to be who they are and yet remain accepted by the world. Here, togetherness loses all meaning if one is to give up on their authentic nature in order to not be alone. Thinking about it this way, we must pay respect to both, as one protects us from unnecessary aggression between two people, while the other protects us from losing ourselves while trying to avoid conflict.
They are different, and both must be acknowledged. 

Eve is not stupid or in any way worth less than any other woman for having a husband and standing suppressed to fit a norm. She is made that way and had no say on the matter. She is the child of circumstance, the one to come after anger already bruised deeply, abandoned, and burnt a path. She is there to heal the world of the living, to give life and find joy in the physical world, in any possible way, even if this means dooming all. She has the imperative to taste, touch, enjoy, give, to love, to connect, to bear healthy children of light and to deal with guilt for her choice to feel satisfied. She has a task to understand how unnecessary guilt is when she is ready to responsibly pay the price of physical pleasure. 

Although Lilith is often perceived as the mistress, we must start to understand that Eve is the second woman, the one to come after the first one is already bruised. She comes to collect the pieces and to heal the wound. Here, she must remain modest, as she gives to another without expectation for Self in a dark hole the past has left. This is what she is made to do. The fair share of her responsibility lies in the fact that moral judgment is obsolete. She is not innocent in a common collective sense, she had to have intercourse in order to bring babies to the world, she took that apple, and she was someone’s second. From this point, she cannot heal anyone if she doesn’t respect the greater order of things that preceded her and forgive herself for being only human today.

On the other hand, however angry or sexually untamed (while ironically giving up on pleasures of the flesh), Lilith is not a demon in her essence and her solitude. There, she is the winged hero saving herself from unhealthy relationships. Her saying “no” is the strongest boundary ever set, the ultimate price of solitude paid for the freedom of expression that she values most. She is made to be the one to resist, move on, and set a boundary, and she is made to not be dependent on any other person even if this is expected by society. Still, Lilith seems to get carried away while overlapping his and her stories, sinking into oneness to begin with and losing her identity as she started to think that she is her man, the one she never owned as no person is ever owned by another. She must become the sunlight of her own system before she healthily connects to another complete person.

Lilith will end what is rotten, dysfunctional and unnecessary, and will not be tied by guilt, even when she is tied by anger. She has a task to understand that her place in the world is never compromised by any relationship or ever defined by another. She has nothing to prove and has the natural right to be protected, safe, and alone. However, her position bears responsibility for controlling matters of life and death, for spreading poison, and cutting her relationships loose. To get out of her loop of ties, her anger is to be used to evolve, not shed on another person. Once she lets go of toxic emotions for others, she turns into a healer as well, finding her “inner Adam” as she proceeds to be the one to heal her own loss, her own choices, depth of pain and what everyone seems to hide from. Here, she becomes aware that she is living the consequence of her own deed, as she cannot control the reality of the world. In the end, all feminine energies have the intense power to heal, once everyone takes their fair share of responsibility for Self (Saturn). 

Both Archetypes Freed

The archetype of Eve rules family, togetherness and life. She is free not to be free. She is the one to begin all that we know of today and give conception to our entire earthly existence because she chooses not to say “no” even when she is bruised, guilty, suppressed or unhappy. She is ready to die and bleed for life and its pleasures to continue. Lilith rules solitude, liberation and our purest emotional Self. She is the one fighting for freedom of choice to have an abortion and controls matters of life and death from the point of absolute responsibility for her own actions. She is ready to die and take away life to not compromise the Truth. 

Lilith came first, as Mars in Taurus, breaking up all earthly “logic” and giving up on joys of sexuality to preserve integrity of emotion. She caused it all, spread what hurt others, and bears tons of responsibility for her own choice to not relate with patience. Although banned in the end, Lilith chose to dismiss her partner’s views, not accepting his limitations but nonetheless remained tied to the same disrespected and from her point of view - limited man. Just the same, he never accepted her to begin with, as he never could or felt the need to. However, she didn’t stick around to fix what is broken in this relationship but flew away because of her unmet expectations. All of this only to return to haunt him after he already had Eve, and to prove an angry and toxic point to her nemesis as well. Eve came second, as Venus in Scorpio, breaking her own worth for another, giving up on Eden for pleasures of the flesh. She seems to be the exact opposite, sticking around no matter what, fixing what’s broken even when it cannot be fixed, and yet responsible for all other people. She did, after all, cause pains of life and bears tons of responsibility for everyone’s suffering through her personal choice to relate and love someone for who they really are – limited and only human. 

Both are “sinners”, and both were free to choose. Both are among us and both are within. The core of their conflict is in fact Adam (ego and the Sun, masculine archetype and the outer authority figure), not who each of them authentically is. They are the same – women fighting for their right to follow emotion. They are the same – women who made choices that went unforgiven. They are the same – women who let a relationship with a man control their lives, one way or the other. None is guilty and none is to blame. Just as Eve must recognize the importance of Lilith and be thankful for what she has given first, Lilith must recognize that Eve came to heal what she has broken and acknowledge the consequences of her own actions. Once the truth is seen, perhaps it simply gives us the wings to move on and reshape instead of holding on to the bitter taste of our own delusions from the past. Although it might seem as if we had only one partner or one paternal figure to hold on to, in fact, our fathers have only been human too, and there are other, much bigger authorities to turn to. 

If these women could both see how fierce femininity shaped them, how much bravery there is to both archetypes, all ego shells could fall off and sisterhood could finally allow them to work together towards the higher point of balance and healing. What each of us can do is find them within and give them the right to follow any emotion at all. Give them the right to be tied and to be free, today, to belong while not belonging and to be authentic wherever they belong. It is our task to heal the feminine, our Moon and our Venus, by allowing these conflicted archetypes to be all that they are, rolled into One. They both have their issues but, luckily, we aren’t gods, and we are all only human, allowed to choose whatever makes us happy and satisfied for as long as we are willing to pay the price. 

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